Presentation

Thank you all for the feedback whoever did that for me (especially to Mark who can't even write!). I felt like my presentation today went well and I hope you guys all liked the Oral Health examination survey I made for you all. What I wish I did better throughout the presentation was allow you all more time to read the slides. I was going very fast through it and I did not realize that time was cut so short and that you all couldn't read what was going on. I hope you liked the presentation though, I spent a good amount of time putting that powerpoint together with the help of Missouri's dental education program. Another thing I wish I did better was actually practice more going through it at home. I get shy when I come in front of a group of people so in order to counteract that I need to crack jokes or make people smile, hopefully I did. Out of the presentations we had today I thought everyone did a fantastic job, can't wait to see the others.

Feedback on Letter

I edited my letter to Crest and I am currently working on my presentation for class tomorrow. I chose to do the oral presentation because I believe that would be the best way to present my project. The feedback Mrs. Scott send via email to us was a change from the past feedbacks in that she did not specifically go through the document but she did send us comments specific to the paper. She talked about specific points and I believe this was very helpful, for instance she told me to fix the end of my letter where it goes off on a tangent and make it more specific towards what my point is.

Letter to Crest

So for my initiating action project I wrote a letter to Crest requesting dental supplies and asking them for help...here it is.

ATTN: Crest Oral Health and Healthy Smiles Program

To Whom It May Concern:

Did you know that flossing adds 6.4 years to your life? That is one of the questions we will randomly ask students while crossing our stand, with your help. This is Kayvan Shahrzad, a freshman at Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University, concerned about the health of his schoolmates. Although this may be my first semester here, it has struck me with great force the oblivious nature of the students here about their oral health. I just want to make it known across campus of several basic needs to maintain oral health. I am writing this letter in order to ask your conglomerate to sponsor a school wide oral health ‘renovation.’ I want to be the head of a program targeted at students to focus on their dental and oral health – I want to provide them with information, products, and let them go with a smile. Through the information I will spread awareness about general dental health, oral diseases, oral cancer, and how to maintain daily health. I as well as a panel of dentists that will compile the information going to be provided in a packet and with anticipation, they will give it a seal of approval. The products, which I am asking for help providing for, will inspire students to brush, floss, and maintain their dental health while at school. An extra or even new toothbrush will help dental health immediately since most of the toothbrushes students use are overused anyway. I will put together a group of students who will take turns to attend the “Crest Oral Health” stand in the middle of the most crowded and most walked through area of Virginia Tech, the “drillfield.” At the stand we will confront students with questions about oral health and ask them to take a survey, if they are still interested at that point we will provide more information about dental health and then give them a free sample toothbrush including toothpaste and floss. With the sample toothbrush and other tools students will be given the chance to at least give their oral health a thought. As long as students even give their teeth a thought, then what we did was successful. So please, I am asking your company to provide my cause atleast 2,000 toothbrushes, toothpaste tubes, mini floss packets, and Crest brochures to be handed out to students. That is a good portion of the population of the school (about 10%). Your company would be responsible for helping more than 2,000 students focus more on their oral health and keep our school healthy.

Kayvan Shahrzad
Virginia Tech 2012

Genre

For my initiating action project, I was going to hand out oral health products to students on campus to spread awareness about having a healthy mouth. In order for me to accomplish something like this, I would first need the materials such as toothbrushes, toothpaste, floss, etc. These materials would be hard to purchase individually without the help of others, but what would be the more practical decision would be to actually write a letter to companies such as Delta Dental, Crest, Colgate, or the American Dental Association. These companies actually have programs that are focused on spreading awareness about oral health that would be most likely to respond to my communication. The way I will communicate to the chosen company would be in the form of a persuasive, editorial, yet factual letter containing why I would need these products, how I would distribute them, and why I am actually qualified to do this in the first place. Usually people that want to initiate action start with writing letters to places in which they cannot physically go to and talk to someone in person. Usually this means dealing with some sort of huge conglomerate that is not concerned with the petty issues of one individual. That is why specificity is key: you must research and figure out which specific person that works for that company will suit your needs. This is why research is important in my genre of finding an individual who will read my letter and respond in a timely fashion. Hopefully these companies have made it easy to find someone in there that would be able to help me out. Freedom is limited, if my letter does not specify what exactly I want to do with what I am asking for, they will simply write a sorry letter in return. If my letter meets all their qualms and needs the first time it is sent, then they will have nothing to worry about.

"ADA Professional Product Review." American Dental Association. .

Initiating Action

So for my initiating action project I am going to spread dental awareness. I will do this through handing out toothbrushes, floss, and toothpaste to students in a few particular classes. In class you all had a few great ideas, and if anybody has an extra tooth costume, I will wear it! The audience of my project is going to be Virginia Tech students, and the purpose of my project is to spread awareness of dental problems and how common they are amongst the American population. However, I still to order the toothbrushes and the other materials that are required to do so. I will do this through Delta Dental, who will hopefully sponsor my project and give me a couple boxes of toothbrushes for free.

Elections

Shortie...


So I'm happy about the free Starbucks and Ben & Jerry's today...Obama is kicking some major ass.

Essay Feedback

In Professor Scott's feedback, I had realized exactly what I had done wrong in my essay. In my introductory and conclusion sentences for each paragraph, I did not make it clear as to where I wanted to lead the stream of ideas next.
For example, the part of my essay about Mohammed, I gave too much information instead of leading the reader to think for themselves. I told too many stories, and because I did that, I did not have enough time to explain exactly what each story meant to the dental office as a whole.
In my revision for the final portfolio, I will go into making each sentence clearer and expanding on my stories. That is one way I will also be able to meet the page requirements.

Initiation of Action

I have found a couple things on campus that relate to the topic of the initiation of action but there is not a plausible material that I can bring into class that shows this other than a flyer which I will bring. On another topic, this initiation of action can be in many forms. I have received several emails calling me to action of some sort, and not to mention the millions of text messages that I get to go vote. This whole year was a call to action...